thesoldierfromthemountains:

earthdad:

a cute snail eating a strawberry
u just take ur time there lil buddy

ANYONE ELSE FIRST THINK THAT THIS FREAKING SNAIL UNHINGED IT’S HUGEASS JAW OH MY GOD

thesoldierfromthemountains:

earthdad:

a cute snail eating a strawberry

u just take ur time there lil buddy

ANYONE ELSE FIRST THINK THAT THIS FREAKING SNAIL UNHINGED IT’S HUGEASS JAW OH MY GOD

(via your-picket-fence)


ciggawet:

*swipes debit card*
*sweats profusely*
*purchase goes through*
me: God is good all the time
Cashier: all the time God is good

(Source: hunnessy, via jesuschristvevo)

============================================

theroself:

sosa-parks:

Nothing more awkward than putting a dish in while ya mom washing dishes

the way she looks you in the eye as you slide it past her arm

the guilt as you quietly look away

(via narcissisticselfiequeen)

============================================

haiirflip:

i got this super cute new sweater while black friday shopping but you cant see it because my hair is too big: a photoset

============================================ im so sorry, this is from 4 months ago and its so close to 50, me,

oraldiarrhea:

hatos:

What if birds had four legs? Need answer

image

(via jesuschristvevo)

============================================


Unfffff so smexxi omg *_* how could anyone hate my angel babyyyy

Unfffff so smexxi omg *_* how could anyone hate my angel babyyyy

(Source: gotchi, via spankmehardbarry)


unexplained-events:

ohcrapitsryan:

unexplained-events:

Ladies and gentlemen….a spring-loaded dick in a box from the 1800s. It made for a great gift

Step one…

unexplained-events:

ohcrapitsryan:

unexplained-events:

Ladies and gentlemen….a spring-loaded dick in a box from the 1800s. It made for a great gift

Step one…

image

(via the-punslinger)


vaginal-erection:

do-i-wanna-know:

what the fuck is this though seriously

a good fucking time thats what

vaginal-erection:

do-i-wanna-know:

what the fuck is this though seriously

a good fucking time thats what

(Source: yellow-submarine-fun, via halfhomosexuals)


Why do you hate the john green thing? Just curious.
Anonymous

whitegirlsaintshit:

because fuck john green

  • he’s creepy as fuck. he does this weird thing where he fetishizes nerdy girls and shit. and it’s very fucking creepy to characterize young women when you’re, like, 40. and misogynistic. all the girls in the books are supposed to be these cutesy ass bookworm bitches that are lowkey sexy and probably wanna do shit like ride dick to a white-washed blues song. i’m not with it. and there’s nothing wrong with that, but when you look down on other women, or female-identifying people, you’re a piece of shit.
  • all of his characters are pretentious as fuck. what fucking teenager with cancer takes a cigarette out and walks around with it in between his lips without smoking it? like, if you’re going to go through this whole spiel about metaphors and shit, you can cancel that, because you literally just paid for… nevermind. nawl. fuck it.
  • all his books seem like a damn (500) days of summer, perks of being a wallflower, twilight ass mashup. anyone can predict what the fuck is going to happen by looking at the damn cover. some whiny ass white boy living in a boring world finds a white girl with the Emma Watson haircut reading a book or some shit and she has something unique about her (i don’t know, something that’s wild ableist and insensitive to write in a book, say, cancer), and he falls in love with her, instantly puttin her on a pedestal. they listen to the smiths and scoff at people who play Migos, call themselves misanthropes, run through the city and eat deli sandwiches in the park, then kiss in an alleyway. somewhere in the book, green will trash the girl (maybe she moves, or she dies, or something), and then the boy moves on with wispy eyes and a hard stare with a cigarette tucked behind his ear that he never lights.
  • he’s one of those pseudo-intellectual assholes that thinks that people with a certain kind of smarts are better than those who aren’t seen as conventionally smart (conventionally smart meaning the “white” kind of smart: perfectly enunciated words, coiled up, reading a book while pushing a pair of glasses up their nose, and containing a lot of angst about the world around them because everyone is “devolving into an idiot”)
  • plus, he’s just a ugly nerdass and i don’t care for him or any of his damn work to be on my dashboard. go read something better. fuck that christmas lights in your bedroom ass nigga.
============================================

scenephase:

once i was facebook stalking a cute boy i used to go to school with and i accidentally liked one of his profile pictures from 3 years ago and i didn’t know how to explain that to him so i deleted and blocked him

(Source: dunkonmekawhi, via foodismynigga)

============================================

jellys:

my friend is mad at me

jellys:

my friend is mad at me

(via mirandacosqrove)


unfollower:

i dont get why people say ‘tea is just leaf water’ and then act like coffee’s so great like what do u think you’re drinking. bean water is what

(via mirandacosqrove)

============================================

cutesy:

pikachu whats wrong

cutesy:

pikachu whats wrong

(via hitmonbottoms)


spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”

(via adultnapped)

============================================

elicrotch:

v0ciferation:

checks grades

*bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this

well if you close your eyes

(via thetumblr-thisisatumblr)

============================================