i’ve been constantly dropping my books on the way to class so some cute dude can help me pick them up and i’ll be part of a real life teen romantic comedy. except it hasnt happened yet so i just have a bunch of damaged books and low self esteem. thanks a lot, hollywood.
Video: Nick Offerman Recites Some Profound Shower Thoughts [gifs via]
i am 0% the person i was three years ago and i would probably get in a fight with 2011 me
the best headline i’ve ever read.
yes. apparently a kid was screaming in line behind him about wanting pie, so he bought every single one. 23 pies. then slowly ate them as he stared at the kid and kid’s mom.
This is amazing
OKAY so my mom found this article (or one about the same event) on Facebook. Basically what happened was, this guy went into BK with a headache, and while he was in line this kid and his mother enter the restaurant. The kid begins throwing a fit, screaming (I quote) “I want a fucking pie!” This is a child, mind you. His mother, on the phone, ignores the kid. The man’s headache got worse because of this screaming kid and he asked the woman if she could control her child. She told him to stop telling him how to raise her kid and went back to talking on the phone. So the guy orders his burger and all the pies they had- 23. He proceeded to the exit, only to hear the woman yell, “What do you mean, you don’t have any pies?” The cashier helplessly points out the man who bought all the pies. Our hero, to rub salt in the wound, slowly starts eating a pie before leaving.
i want a prequel to veggie tales where the humans who occupy that kitchen are flipping the fuck out as their fruits and vegetables slowly become self-aware and begin to sing about jesus
people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted
why white boys end every sentence they type with haha??
to be honest i find it weirder that black people often just dont use verbs
slang is an actual type of language that people (not just black) use. that unnecessary, uneasy creep ass laugh at the end of every thing y’all type is a defense mechanism, so if you slip up you can claim it was a joke. grow some nuts and get some conviction u lil weak bitch.